JNPR: Overgrown
by JimboYokimbo
Summary: A branch off of The Draigg's "The Sounds of Vale." You don't necessarily need to read it to enjoy this story. Rated M for language, sexual themes, and a little concoction I like to call "Future-Lemon!" The lab boys said not to touch it, but did that stop me from testing if it could be used as skin lotion? No! The total muscle paralysis did.


**Mwahahahahahahahaaa... It is I, the evil and magnificent- oh wait, no, I'm being JimboYokimbo now, not the boss from my DnD Campaign. Ha ha, those guys don't know how fucked they are. I mean, an army of dragon-riding knolls? Genius. If I do say so myself. Although, the sentiment remains. I am back to writing, not just editing for Draigg. Ooh! Speaking of that guy, this story is in the same universe as "The Sounds of Vale," "A Simple Bet," and "Intoxication Ensues." The story takes place at the same time as "A Simple Bet." Now that doesn't mean that you have to read one to enjoy the other, but you should still read them all because they're all awesome.**

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><p>"Come on, baby, keep going!"<p>

"Jaune, it's not working."

"It'll work, Pyrrha! I just gotta keep going!"

"You can do it Jaune!"

"Thank you, Nora."

"Why are we even here?"

"Team building, Ren, team building!"

Ren sighed. He didn't want to be here. He thought that their team was built enough already. They fought goddamn monsters together. This was just an excuse for Jaune to show off his manhood to Pyrrha. Noble a goal as that may be, Ren could think of multiple ways that Jaune could do just that without involving him. Jaune could, for instance, face Cardin head on about his bullying. He could start lifting weights. He could initiate sex for once in his life. He could do lots of things. But camping? This was just plain stupid.

The car had been stuck for 10 minutes now, and no amount of wheel-spinning could get it unstuck. _Maybe we should have shelled out the extra 40 lien for an all-wheel-drive,_ Ren contemplated, thinking back to the sleazy dealer back in Vale. He had offered the team enough deals to make their heads spin. Extended warranty, satisfaction guarantee, DVMS (Dust Vehicle Management Support) support, flood insurance, lightning insurance, fire insurance, Grimm insurance, and, the one thing that they actually could have used, a 4-wheel drive upgrade. But, alas, a tight budget and a nauseating airship ride made Jaune eager to sit down. So, they had simply driven out in their van (the only thing that they could both afford and fit their supplies in) and headed out to the Forest of Forever Fall.

The Hunters and Huntresses kept the Forest around the city clear of most Grimm, so that the good citizens of Vale could enjoy the beauty of Forever Fall without fear of molestation. To a point. While the Hunters were well trained, even they could only keep the forest clear for about a mile in every direction. Outside of that was "Camp at own risk." So Jaune, in an attempt to show off to his girlfriend, had planned their excursion to extend a mile and a half away from the border. They were huntsmen in training, dammit, they could deal with anything! Ren hoped that was true.

"Come on, come on... DAMMIT!" Jaune yelled. "Ok. Let's try to dig it out. I think we have a shovel or something in the back."

"I got it!" Nora chirped from her back seat position, before climbing over her seat (giving no thought to modesty) and grabbing the trowel from the back. Unfortunately, she got stuck between her and Ren's seats. "Reeeeeeeen!"

Ren sighed, before unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the van. He walked his way back to the trunk, savoring the sweet outside air. Being around Nora almost 24/7 made one thirsty for air that didn't smell of syrup. The moment was cut short all too soon as he reached the double doors in the back of the van. Turning the handle, he swung open the doors to find that Nora was in fact not stuck, but rather preparing to give her oldest friend a surprise Ursa hug.

Tumbling to the ground, Ren let out a surprised "Woah!" followed by an exasperated sigh. "Nora."

"Yes Ren?"

"Please get off me."

"Ok!" the orange-haired energy-ball chirped as she sprung up off her oldest friend, giggling like a loon.

_Why do I even put up with her?_ Ren contemplated as he rooted around the trunk for the trowel that they would be using to dig holes for their bathrooms for the next week. That wasn't a pleasant thought.

Finding the shit-trowel (he shuddered at the thought), Ren took a look at the stuck wheel. "Uh, Jaune, you should probably take a look at this!" he called to his teammate.

The ditch that the wheel was stuck in was not especially deep (deep enough to get stuck in, but nothing to warrant worry about the structural integrity of your car). However, the tire was shredded to ribbons. It was now that Ren heard the closing of the front door.

"What's going… on. Oh. Huh."

"Do we have a spare tire?"

"Pfft, do we have a spare tire? Of course! Of course we have a spare. What kind of _idiot_ doesn't pack a spare?"

"...Is there a spare tire?"

"... no."

Ren sighed. Now not only were they going camping in the middle of Forever Fall, but they were going camping in the middle of Forever Fall indefinitely. And all to stroke their great and honorable leader's ego.

"What's going on?" Pyrrha asked, opening her door and stepping from the vehicle.

_Ah! His queen arrives_.

"Well, it's not good," Jaune said flatly.

"What- oh, Dust!"

"Heh, heh, yeah. And Ren misplaced the spare tire."

Ren balked at this blatantly false accusation, rendered speechless by Jaune's complete willingness to throw his "Brother" under the bus.

"_Ren,"_ Nora whispered, repeatedly patting his shoulder.

"Ren? That doesn't sound like you. I imagine Nora had something to do with this?" Pyrrha asked knowingly, almost as if she was knowingly playing along with Jaune's ruse.

"_Ren!" _Nora whisper-yelled.

"It doesn't really matter who's fault it was, again, Ren's, not mine, what matters is how we're gonna fix it," Jaune said, shooting a painful look of apology to Ren, who sighed audibly.

"_REN!"_ Nora nearly yelled, grabbing her friend by the shoulder and forcibly turning him around.

"Agh! Wh- _oh._"

Before the team stood a magnificent stag, gleaming gold in the afternoon sun. It was standing only a few short yards away from the 4, and had it's head down, nibbling at the grass beside the road.

They stood in awed silence for a long heartbeat before Nora started to emanate a high pitch "squee," slowly mounting in volume. Suddenly, the stag's head shot up, and time seemed to slow down as team JNPR waited with baited breath for the animal's next move.

Quick as lightning, the antlered beauty shot off into the forest.

"Hyaaa!" Nora cried, unfolding Magnhild and shooting off towards the spooked bull.

"NORA!" Ren cried, running after her as fast as he could. The rest of team JNPR looked on in shock.

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><p><em>Goddammit, Nora. Why? Why do you have to chase after every piece of fauna (and flora for that matter) that comes your way? <em>"NORA!" He waited for a response. Hearing none, he kept running, his lungs burning, despite the fact that he had been running for only a few minutes. After countless more minutes of agony, Ren saw a break in the dark pink trees. _Thank dust. _Silhouetted in the light of the setting sun there stood a motionless girl clad in a pink sundress.

"Nora! There you are! You've gotta stop running… off…" Ren trailed off before he could even begin his lecture. Looking out from the hill upon which they stood, he saw a valley filled with flowers. His mouth hung open in awe as he spied the gold stag from before, drinking from a stream.

"Ren... It's beautiful…"

This was one of the first times that Ren had seen Nora rendered speechless. A rare time indee-

"REN! OHMIDUSTOHMIDUSTOHMIDUST! I want to live here! Can we live here? We can build a house! I'll be using the hammers of course, but you can be the architect because you're so smart. We can live out here together! But, not together-together. I mean, not that you're not handsome, and awesome, and funny, and you put up with me, and… Uh, but, that would just be weird. Oo! Can our house have a fireplace? I always wanted a fireplace! Do you think that you could-"

"_**Screeeee!"**_

_What was that?_ Ren thought as he grabbed his friend and pushed her down to the ground, following her promptly.

Out of nowhere, a large black dart shot into the meadow. Only when it landed to pick up it's prey did the two friends make out it's shape. The Nevermore grabbed the stag and flew off as suddenly as it had come.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeen!" Nora cried, tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't think I wanna live here anymore!"

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><p>As they made their way back to the van, where Ren predicted the other half of their team would still be, Nora was thinking many things. Now, in order to plunge into the mind of Nora Valkyrie, one must first understand something. Nora has many frequencies in her head, and her train of thought can never seem to stay on just one. She has many complete thoughts, and some of them are actually rather insightful. The problem is that these thoughts often jump to the lesser frequencies of her mind, and while she may be thinking one thing out rather tactfully, the front of her brain, and therefore her actions and words, was doing something different.<p>

_That poor little deer… I like deer. I wonder if anyone else likes deer. Ruby seems like the kind of person to like deer. She's cool! Sometimes. Then she just gets really sad and emotional. What fun is being sad? I'm never sad. Unless someone died. Someone I cared about. But, not cared about like I cared about that deer. Care about like I care about Ren. What if Ren died?_

This thought brought another flood of tears to her eyes. And to think, she had almost gotten over the deer.

_Oh dust! I just care about him so much! What if he dies without knowing that? Oh, I'm the worst friend!_

As if he could hear her thoughts _(*gasp* maybe he can! Or am I saying this all out loud? Hello! Nah, it's just a coincidence.),_ Ren took a step towards his friend, and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Nora."

"*Sniff* yes?"

"How are you?"

That took Nora by surprise. Typically, Ren would just stand there and listen to Nora's ranting. Or, at least, Nora assumed he was listening. She knew that she could be annoying at times, especially to someone as quiet as Ren. He might just be looking like he was listening but really thinking something like '_That Nora girl is the most annoying girl I've ever seen and I don't love her with all my heart and also pink sloths are my least favorite thing,'_ but that was stupid, pink sloths are awesome. Regardless, Ren had almost never asked for Nora to ramble, she just sorta… did. So, naturally, Nora had no idea how to answer her green-suited comrade.

"I… I'm ok."

"Are you?"

"Yes." And she was, with Ren there.

"Good," he said, giving her shoulders a little squeeze.

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><p>Back at the van, Jaune and Pyrrha were trying to dig out the wheel of the van, and simultaneously trying to figure out why the rubber of the tire was ribboned. So there they were, chipping away at the concrete entrapping their tire. They had been doing this for minutes now, and were both hot and sweaty. And Pyrrha was loving it. Jaune's light shirt was clinging to his chiseled body, his hair was wet and mussed, and he smelled like work, and man.<p>

"Pyrrha, look at this."

Gladly moving over to his side of the wheel, Pyrrha took in Jaune's scent.

"Yes, Jaune?"

"Look," he said, pointing to a pearly-white spike, jutting out about an inch from the side of the pothole before sinking itself into the rubber of the tire. "What do you think that is?"

"It's an Ursa tooth, Jaune. That must be what ripped up the tire. Speaking of, how did Ren misplace the spare tire?"

"Uh, _heh-heh_, well, I guess it wasn't _really _Ren's fault. I guess I also had, _heh_, something to do with it," Jaune said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

_That's attractive, _Pyrrha thought sarcastically. _Childishly pinning the blame on your friend. Some shining knight._

"Jaune, you really need to start taking responsibility for your actions. You know that everyone will still like you even if you forget a spare tire once in a while! Especially me."

"Thanks, Pyrrha."

She leaned in and kissed his forehead. And that's as far as she had planned to go. However, once she had kissed Jaune and gotten a taste of his sweat, she just couldn't control herself. It was 'pants-off-time,' as Nora referred to it.

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><p>"Ren?"<p>

"Yes, Nora?"

"What's that noise?"

"Noise?" Ren said, straining his ears for any phantom noise that could be what Nora meant.

"The squeaking."

Now he heard it; the squeaking of rusty springs, coming from right ahead of them.

"Oh god…"

They walked out of the trees, to see the van, bouncing up and down.

"Ren, why are the windows all foggy?"

"Goddammit."

Nora skipped over to the fogged back windows of the van, and, cupping her hands to negate the glare of the sun, peered in on Jaune and Pyrrha's sweaty, passionate pants-off-time.

"_Ren!"_ Nora whispered, gesturing for Ren to join her in her little act of voyeurism, "_Come here!"_

"Nora, get away from the window."

"_Ren! Come here!"_

Resigning himself to his fate, Ren moved towards the van.

"_What's that thing?" _Nora whispered in Ren's ear.

"Good god," Ren mumbled to himself, averting his eyes from the spectacle in front of him.

"_Why aren't you looking?"_

"_Because it's private! Get away from the window!"_

"But Reeeeeen!" Nora whined.

Ren put his face in his hands as Pyrrha and Jaune gave shrieks (one manlier than the other).

"NORA!" Jaune snapped, covering himself in a picnic blanket.

"Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!"

Ren sighed. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning of his tribulations.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I'd also like to thank Draigg for helping me edit this. Don't tell him I told you this, but word on the street is that TSOV is getting a sequel soon. I've read it, it's good. Anyways, hope you enjoyed. More coming in the kind-sorta-not-really-near future. I'll keep you posted. Please review.<strong>


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